Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
