if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
