I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
