Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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