"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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