Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
