Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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