Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
