I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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