She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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