My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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