we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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