...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
