I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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