And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
