Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
