I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
