I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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