Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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