They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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