he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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