I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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