There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
