She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
