I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Your penis caused this!
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