i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
