I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
