Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my being single is dangerous.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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