I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
