It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
