whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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