I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
