Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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