This house was built for laser tag.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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