East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
her facebook's as public as her vagina
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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