why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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