you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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