She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Nobody cheats on THIS.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
