he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
