hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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