I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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