i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Farmville is her only friend.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
