You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
