Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
