Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
what is it with giant penises always finding me
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
