yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
