Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
