wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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