I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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