im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Did you pee in the oven last night??
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
