my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
