And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
