bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
