my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Who died my cat blue again?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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