I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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