is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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