The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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